Losing my love for reading

How I lost my love for reading and my search in finding it once again…

For as long as I can remember, reading has been my favourite thing to do and I devoted my life to it! I woke up and read, I had breakfast and read, I had a bath and read, I went to sleep and read. It was the core of my identity and when I lost it, I was lost.

I initially looked into studying Fine Art at University as I had a passion for painting, but I soon discovered it wasn’t the right course for me, so I looked into English Literature. I loved the module breakdowns and couldn’t think of anything better than sitting down in a classroom for 15 hours a week and reading to my heart’s content… or so I thought. When I started my undergraduate degree, I loved every aspect of reading new genres and looking at different unique ways of dissecting certain novels from different eras. Until, I started a particular module in my first year named ‘Postmodernism’. I can say for sure now… that this is the module that destroyed my love for reading and all of my motivation to study.

University is hard socially and academically and I think this really bypassed by almost everyone and a scarce minority speak about the struggles.

One of my first memories from my childhood is reading books which I knew would continue to become a huge pastime of mine throughout my life. At a young age I had the capability of choosing what genres and authors I would like to read, and stayed close within the perimeters of fictional fantasies and thrillers. But, being forced to read classic books at university which in my opinion contain no interesting elements really threw me off and sent me far away from my initial love for reading. I stopped reading all together and every summer break I would pick up a book and enjoy it but, didn’t love it and I never continued to read afterwards. 

So, what do you do now considering reading was a core element of your life and you need to fill that void?

I turned to rugby and fell in love instantly with the sport. It took up the time that I would have been reading and filled it with a team sport with such passion. I don’t feel regretful about losing my love for reading as I found another passion in my life which I would not have experienced if I hadn’t. But, it still lingers in my mind that I lost a devotion of mine.

Almost a year has passed since I finished my undergraduate degree and my love for reading is slowly returning. I am reading books on my terms and being strict with the novels that manage to deliver themselves to me. I am hoping that with time it will return fully and any spare moment I get I can have the desire to pick up a book and indulge myself in the world of fiction.

I constantly feel as though I am a small fragment of society in the realms of a huge novel, and in time I want to appease my guilt of not reading and travel somewhere tranquil and lose myself to an abundance of chapters.

Until then, I shall wait.

PR